Grab your old girl with her new tricks...

Top [Me] Bra [H&M] Skirt & Sunglasses[Forever21] Ring [Bijules]

What do you when your friend's birthday approaches and you're strapped for dough? Make her a (tastefully) skanky top! If she, like Morgan, is only interested in hot boys and hotter clothes, then her love won't cost a thing. Ok, maybe $15 on fabric and trims and yes, that was an intentional J.Lo quote. It's Monday. Leave me alone.

- Jessica

I had a dream I could buy my way to heaven. When I awoke, I spent that on a necklace...

Robert Lee Morris for Elizabeth and James

Elizabeth and James jewelry has been getting crazy press lately. The other day I walked by Bloomingdale's on 3rd Ave and saw that Elizabeth and James is featured in every window (two dedicated to the jewelry collection). You can pre-order some of it on Intermix.com and all I can think is WHY THE HYPE?!? Really? Some of the pieces are generically passable but this ring is especially offensive for being $175 and looking like a bellybutton (I am aware we are all sporting belly buttons but one is enough). No hating on Mary-Kate and Ashley I respect their influence and all but I don't see it in their jewelry.

Abraxas Rex for Alexander Wang

Now the collaboration between Alexander Wang and Abraxas Rex (by Brooklyn-based designer Paris Kain) is black-out sex that results in octuplets. I am obsessing over the architectural pieces that put Frank Gehry for Tiffany's to shame. I know Jessica is obsessing over these earrings since she is one of those strange girls that never got her ears pierced. Are there more collaborations in the future between the two? Cause I know I'm ready for the next episode.

Deka Ray

I discovered Deka Ray's jewelry a few years ago down in the Lower East Side. She has done numerous collaborations with designers like Phillip Lim and United Bamboo [keepin' it real in the Asian community] her work has that "I do's it in heels or a crisp pair of Nikes" playful, badass quality.

-Morgan

Who don't understand a broad dude with a mean shoe game...

Raf Simons S/S09

Among females, he is known as the greatest thing to ever happen at chez Jil Sander. So I can only wonder if our male counterparts consider Mr. Simons as an equally amazing purveyor of hype-tastic footwear. Because if I was born with a different set of chromosomes, I'd be hustling all day to purchase whatever he's peddling. 

Raf Simons S/S09

I mean, EUR830 for embroidered shoes? I'D HIT.

Raf Simons x Doc Martens

Ok, with the exception of these awful Raf x Docs patent MAN-dals. Call me Brandy because I wanna be down... but I just can't. I'm sure Marc Jacobs is riding them hard but I ain't mad at you.

- Jessica

Rub your titties itty-bitties if you love hip-hop...

Bra top [Me] Wifebeater [Hanes] Skirt [H&M] 

Necklace [Pippin Vintage] Sunglasses [Vintage] Shoes [YSL]

You'd think that a weirdo with an overly-sensitive sense of touch and an obsession with fabric would know better than to make a bra top out of perforated PVC. Well, I (and all you prudes that use subways and buses in New York) will just have to deal with my constant urge to molest myself while wearing this top. It's a good thing I let Morgan rock it for this post. But honestly, what happened to the inappropriate appreciation for random public grope-age?

- Jessica

And this the premiere of that NEW NEW here...

Reversible Bra Top [Me] Wifebeater [GAP] Gloves [MANGO]

Hangover posting is no bueno. Accidentally deleted the only clear full length photo from not only the camera but iPhoto as well. FAIL. My apologies. At least I finally learned how to upload from ImageShack. Yes I'm wack at basic web stuff. "It's like the Special Olympics or something". I feel you Mr. President. Morgan and I spent yesterday afternoon bingeing on GaGa and photographing tops I've finally finished making. What I learned: Lady GaGa + Bra tops + 2 silly bitches = absolute fuckery. Come May 5th, we're planning to bring the mess to Terminal 5 and 'bow-throw our way to the front to see the GaGa up-close in live tranny color (rocking some absurd mix of PVC, shoulder pad and synthetic hair, natch).

Jeans [Tripp] Boots [Barbara Bui]

For the bra top, I used black vinyl (leftover from making the ears for my vintage Minnie Mouse costume from last Halloween) as well as a sick black silk lamé. Then I went elastic-happy (per usual) and lined it in an electric blue jersey (who doesn't love reversible shit?). I'm so down with the patent black/electric blue combo I might have to paint the wedges of these boots blue.

- Jessica

P.S. I made a strapless perforated, navy PVC/grey jersey version of the bra top. Go ahead and subtly wipe your seat off. I won't look. Photos of Morgan rocking it coming in a day or 2 so stay tuned kids.

Where I'm holdin all the work at...

Chanel F/W09 Perspex Briefcase

I'd go corporate if I could to carry this to work. Hey Karl, if you're reading, would you mind hooking a chick up with a job and a suitcase? I'll wash your unmentionables... unless that fine "bodyguard" of yours (Sebastian Jondeau) already got that.

- Jessica

My thong's showin but it's cool my shoes go wit it...

No, I have not abandoned this blog by any means (though I'm still without a computer, ugh). I've only just returned from my South American crawl.

Leading up to the trip, I was told that Argentinian women were chic and sophisticated. I can tell you that that turned out to be a dirty lie. A week of perusing the streets of Buenos Aires, I saw about 4 (I'm being generous) women who deserved a "Bitch, you did good" second glance. Shops were filled with belly shirts, ruched dresses, neon netted tops and white see through booty pants (read: things Jessica imagines Kanye's new jumpoff, Amber Rose's closet would be filled with). If I had known that this was a part of the world where it's sexy to show your thong, I would have expected otherwise.

Milion

Buenos Aires, Argentina

Although the fashion was a bust, Argentina is an amazing country and I absolutely wouldn't discourage anyone from visiting. An amazing find was the San Telmo antique market and my new favorite lounge Milion - a house built in 1913 which was converted into a beautiful bar and outdoor garden - where the few chic locals share bottles of wine on the staircase. The whole ambiance had a mystical feeling about it that you would never find in New York.

-Morgan

Don't act a fool now, now... Ain't nothin new now, now

BALMAIN

S/S09                                                                            F/W09

Reuse, Reduce, Recycle! Perhaps, Mr. Decarnin should consider a career as an environmentalist. This post is a bit late as it's been nearly a week since Balmain showed. I was amused by the raves on numerous blogs about the "genius" collection. Hm, short term memory loss... a web transmitted disease? I'll try to remember to double bag from now on.

- Jessica

I'd beat that bitch with a bat...

Christian Audigier

For the love of acrylic nails and Bedazzlers, will someone tell me WTF jaeger-bomb/protein powder concoction do you have to consume to find Ed Hardy apparel appealing? I mean, really? You're really doing this now? Did this fool decide VonDutch wasn't bad enough, he had to one-up himself? At least that was just blatant branding (I mean, I had my Ecko phase. I get it), this is beyond. This is throwing drugstore rub-on tattoo graphics, crystals, and Juicy Couture in a blender and serving it over early onset melanoma. Now if that isn't bringing sexy back, shit, I don't know what is. And now Madonna's trying to collabo with this fool. Did she get her skin pulled back too far and it's now jeopardizing her vision?

- Jessica